March 16, 2010

Number 14.

Although I had a marvelous day, there is something that has been bothering me lately and I feel like it wouldn't bother me so much if I wrote about it.  So here goes.

As time grows closer to the day I moved away from Georgia, I tend to think more about Georgia.  I remember what I did on those last days in Augusta... I remember how I spent hours at John's house and hanging out with Peyton... Spending time anywhere but at the nearly empty house and eventually the hotel.  I remember how, as we merged onto the interstate north to Atlanta, I thought, this feels totally normal.  Is it supposed to feel normal? Why don't I feel sad?  Why aren't I crying?  I didn't cry at all.  I didn't cry when I found out that we were moving... I didn't cry when I told everyone... Well, I cried when I told Rose, because Rose started crying.  But I wasn't that sad.  It just felt completely normal.  As in, well, say my parents tell me we're moving.  I'm not surprised.  I like change; I like adventure.  But there's the key word: NOT surprised... What's happening to my family is a completely normal thing.  Some people go their entire lives without even moving across town... and I go and move cross-country every few years.  I've crossed so many state lines in my life.  I've been to, or at least driven through, the majority of the 50 US states.  I lived in Argentina!   It's like my parents couldn't make up their minds... or something like that.

My point is, moving has become almost routine for my family.  I feel as if this summer should come, school should end, and a moving truck should be in our front yard, guys should be packing all my stuff into boxes again, and I've packed a suitcase for the next two months.  This happens all the time.  My mom tells me, don't even think about it.  It's not going to happen again.  That's the reason we are living in Michigan instead of Kansas City, where they were originally going to relocate us to.  When we moved to Georgia, a few months after school started, I remember breaking down on my mom's lap and crying, saying that I didn't want to make any new friends because I felt like we were just going to pick up and leave again next summer like we did in Texas months before that.  My mom promised me that we would live in Georgia at least until I had graduated from high school, but then, almost two years after she promised me that, after I had made a best friend and found the boy that I liked very much, nearly loved, we packed up and headed for the hills.  I hate feeling like moving is a normal part of my life style, but I can't help it.  We lived in a freaking hotel for about 4 months (not in a row) because we had to move; from Georgia to Michigan, and then from one house to another in Michigan.  The house thing is a stupid story.... there was mold and lying involved.  But that's another story for another day.

Can you see why I call myself the "high school nomad" yet?  I hope so....

Anyway, yes, writing about my worries for this summer made me feel a bit better about them.  But there has been no talk of relocations yet, and normally I am the first of the three children to hear about it.  So I'm not so worried yet.  Boy, am I good at forcing myself to stop worrying.  Gosh.  Well, I guess I will hit the hay and get some sleep.  My chemistry final is in the morning.

As always,
Jules, the High School Nomad.

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